Mopey

I'm sitting here watching TV and feeling mopey.  I was hanging out on the WTE forums, just cruising and I happened to look at a mom's signature that talked about breastfeeding.  For some reason all of my sadness about not being able to successfully BF Akiha came flooding back.  I stopped pumping when she was almost 7 weeks old ... she's 4 months today, I can't believe I still have those sad emotions.

Akiha is very healthy.  She is growing well, gaining well (not gaining too much either) ... she's alert, smart, learning, meeting her milestones, etc.  I know that I'm doing well by her and that I'm a good mother to her, but it still just hurts I guess.  I had intended to BF until she was 18 months if she'd have let me (right up until we wanted to try for a second child pretty much), instead she never wanted to latch without a shield and my supply was just a mess.  We worked so hard with each other, with a LC .. and I pumped exclusively for her for a few weeks, but it just was insane schedule wise, so I had to quit.

I very much intend on trying to BF my next child and I am very hopful that it will work out.  I have no idea how my emotions will react if I am successful, since I wasn't able to give that to Akiha.  Or for that matter, how I would react if it didn't work again.

I'm sure someday the emotions will fade and for the most part they are not there ... but I guess today for some reason it is bothering me.  I just have to remember that my little baby is happy and healthy and loves me to death ... and as a mom, there is little more I could need.

Mommy Training

I've come to realize something this last week while I've been working with Akiha on her eating and sleeping habits.  It is NOT about training my little 12 week old to eat more reasonably or to sleep more.  In fact, it doesn't have all the much to do with her at all.  The more I try to work on things the more I realize it is about training myself to help provide her with structure and a routine.

We've been really struggling with her only wanting to eat 2-3 oz at a feeding and wanting to eat every 1.5-3 hours depending with no rhyme or reason at all.  We've also been dealing with new found fussiness while eating and some gassiness.  We are currently on a bottle experiment - trying different options.  Hopefully something will work soon there!

At this same time we've been working on transitioning our little angel to her own room and crib at night.  So far we've tried two nights.  The first night was pretty much a failure. She went in there at like 9:30 and woke up every hour until 1, when I finally said ENOUGH! and just brought her in with us.  Last night went a little better. It took us awhile to get her wound down - she didn't go down until 11, but she only woke up at 2, 4, and then 6.  While that is an extra wake up (normally I would only expect 4 and then 6) it wasn't bad.  But obviously, I don't really want her up until 11 and then up that many times.

So today my hubby and I went rounds and rounds about what to do.  I started back to work last week and Akiha goes with me.  I LOVE that I can take her to work, but I need her to get into some sort of routine - it almost doesn't matter what the routine is - just something so I can plan my workday around it!  So we decided to try to schedule her a bit more.  We agreed to initially offer her a bottle every two hours and see what she eats.  So far tonight at 5 she ate 3oz, 3oz again at 7, and then just now at 9 she ate 4.5 oz.  We are also limiting the amount of time we try to feed her.  She gets 1/2 hour to eat and then she is done (unless of course, she is actively eating at the 1/2 hour mark).  Her dawdling and eating for 5 minutes every twenty minutes for an hour is not going to work anymore.

Eventually, over the next couple weeks we will try to stretch out her feedings and get her to eat more at once and of course, I will never wake her to feed her (I've learned that lesson recently), but obviously we can improve things. So far it has worked like a charm and it has allowed me to see a way to help her with a bedtime routine.  She ate at 7, snuggled with her daddy for awhile, and then a 8 we did her bath.  After bath was massage with lavender baby oil and get dressed in our pjs and swaddle blanket.  By then it was bottle time.  Now she is falling asleep in my arms.  At this rate I"ll have her in her crib by 9:45 ...

I think I needed to be more disciplined ... I needed to take some more responsibility in getting my daughter into some sort of routine - rather than just hope and pray that she would do it alone.  I'm not about letting her go hungry or anything like that, but I am going to work with her and get things squared away a little better for us all!

New Direction and NFL Picks

In thinking about my blog, I realized that in so many ways I was just creating my own version of an ESPN.com of CNNSI.com blog. It had my thoughts, etc, but a blog that follows games is out there already. So I thought perhaps I could bring something different ... a blog that actually teaches people who do not know much about sports. In the coming weeks I will cover the basics of football and basketball (with baseball season ending I cannot see much of a reason to cover it right now). I will explore general topics, such as positions, basic offenses, defenses, etc as well as delving into details and specifics about weird rules, etc. It should be fun. Look forward to that in the upcoming weeks!

Now for my picks!

Bucs over Cowboys
Redskins over Lions
Bills over Dolphins
Pats over Rams
Chargers over Saints
Jets over Chiefs
Falcons over Eagles
Ravens over Raiders
Panthers over Cardinals
Jags over Browns
Texans over Bengals
Giants over Steelers
49ers over Seahawks
Titans over Colts

There you have it. What an amazing set of games, particularly that Monday night game! Should be a fun weekend!

NFL Week 7 Pick'em

I have been lax again this week - I'm going to blame it on being sick the last three days. But being sick cannot keep me from making my picks for this weeks NFL matchups. Here we go ...

San Diego over Buffalo
Chicago over Minnesota
Pittsburgh over Cincinnati
Tennessee over Kansas City
Carolina over New Orleans
Dallas over St Louis
Baltimore over Miami
NY Giants over San Francisco
Houston over Detroit
NY Jets over Oakland
Washington over Cleveland
Indy over Green Bay
Tampa Bay over Seattle
Denver over New England

Quick thoughts:
Carolina and Baltimore are coming off losses. I expect them to be playing angry, inspired football. Same for the Redskins - Colin Cowherd of ESPN Radio picked the Redskins as his lock for the week, saying the Redskins would just demolish the Browns. I couldn't agree more.

I think the Colts have found their way. The announcement that Peyton Manning had a second surgery prior to the season definitely helps to explain the slow start for the Colts. Manning looked a lot better last week and I think the Colts will get back into form even more this week.

There are questions in Dallas - have been all weeks. No Adam Jones, would it be Romo or Johnson starting, etc. Yesterday it appeared that Brad Johnson would start and Romo would be the wild card if needed. Either way, I think the Cowboys can beat the Rams. despite the Rams' win last week. Though, if the Cowboys do not get some control over the constant chaos they are going to start to falter.

Last week was crazy - which of course made this week a lot more difficult to pick, but I feel pretty good about my choices. We will have to see how it plays out.

I'm very much looking forward to watching Oklahoma/Kansas and Missouri/Texas today - Is the Big 12 stacked or what? Another awesome weekend of football.


Oh yeah - I think the Red Sox just may force a Game 7 tonight. Tampa Bay has had lots of time to think about how they gave up a 7 run lead in 2.33 innings - Young players, like the majority of the Rays players, do not always handle that sort of pressure as well as a team like the Red Sox who have been in this position a couple times before. If it does go to Game 7 - the Red Sox should win the series.

Now, off to get the flu shot - as random as that seems.

Crazy Ending in Atlanta

What an ending to the Falcons/Bears game. Orton puts together an awesome drive for a touchdown and they go up by 1 with 11 seconds left. Ryan comes out - passes a gem under pressure to the 30 of the Falcons and his received goes out of bounds with 1 second left. Out trots Jason Elam and he nails the 48-yd field goal. Wow - that was crazy and awesome.

I am thinking the Falcons are legit - they are going to be very good in the near future. I am impressed by Matt Ryan's development and his poise under pressure. He has the potential to develop into an excellent, top-notch NFL quarterback.

The Texans yanked it out against the Dolphins and Tampa Bay made Carolina look bad. So I'm already down five games today, but as I said earlier, I do not mind being wrong about Indy and I'm excited about Atlanta, so I am only bummed by 3 of the wrong picks. Looking forward to more fun this afternoon!

Wrong About Indy

I am going to be wrong, very wrong about the Indy and Baltimore game, but I am okay about that. The Colts have barely won the couple of games they had won prior to this week. They have been a kicking post for many in the last couple of weeks. Finally this week it appears that Peyton Manning and the Colts have it all figured out, on both sides of the ball.

31 points of offense - including 3 TDs by Peyton Manning in the first half (two to Marvin Harrison) and so far they have held the Ravens to just 3 points. The world feels a bit more normal with the Colts playing the way they have in the last several years. I think the Colts are back and will be a force to be reckoned with the rest of the year.

Interesting Morning so far ...

This has been an interesting morning in football so far.

Detroit is beating Minnesota 3 to 2 ... in the 3rd quarter! Are the playing baseball?

Indy may have finally woken up 24-0 over Baltimore at the half. Pretty amazing considering the Ravens' Defense.

Washington vs St Louis is close - which I never would have expected honestly.

The Texans are leading the Dolphins, Cincy is hanging with the Jets, and Atlanta is beating the Bears. Though Atlanta better figure out how to get more than some field goals or the Bears will get them in the second half.

Looking forward to seeing how the rest of these games play out!